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Personalizing A Loved One’s Funeral

November 8th, 2011

Planning a funeral for a loved one is a difficult time for anyone. A lot of work, time and effort goes into the planning process. Also, you want to make sure that it’s a special time of remembrance for your loved one. Have you thought about ways that you can personalize your loved one’s funeral?

Consider Their Unique Personality Traits

Funeral Wagon - Personalized Funeral TransportationWhen planning to personalize your loved ones funeral, think back to the fond memories you shared with them. Think about their stand-out qualities, and what other people saw in them. Also, consider their likes, hobbies, dislikes, achievements and passions.

Personalizing The Funeral Ceremony

Once you have thought about what that person meant to others and took into consideration their passions and likes, get together with other family members and come up with a creative way to incorporate these elements into the ceremony.

Personalize the visitation, eulogy, music, readings, procession, committal service, the gathering or reception. Each can be personalized in different and many ways. For the visitation, display photos, memorabilia, collections of their work or their achievements for a personalized effect. Choose music that is meaningful to that person, poetry and readings that describe that person’s life,
or even have the procession vehicle catered towards their hobbies or interest.

Ask people that were closest to that person to give readings, play music or be a pallbearer; however they feel they can contribute. A great way especially to personalize the ceremony is during the speech. This is the time that they can talk about all of their great qualities and passions.

More Tips For Personalizing A Loved One’s Funeral

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FAQs: Funeral Planning

September 10th, 2011

Here at FSN Funeral Homes, we strive to find the best advise for the questions so commonly asked about funeral planning and the details that come along with it. Here is a list of the most frequent questions and their answers. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

FAQ : Funeral Planning

 Funeral QuestionsWhat do I need to know about funeral planning?

There are a few basics you should always keep in mind when planning a funeral.

  • Be informed and ask questions.
  • Go over all options available at several funeral homes, making sure the funeral home you chose is suitable for your personal needs and budget.
  • Request an itemized price list.
  • Make the arrangements for a personalized service to honor your loved one.

Who do I need to contact first when pre-planning a funeral?

  • When pre-planning a funeral you can call the funeral home directly and work with the funeral director there, or you can contact an Estate Planning attorney.

How much does an average funeral cost?

  • The average funeral in today’s time is somewhere between $6,000 – $8,000.  This estimated price includes, all services provided by the funeral home, casket/urn, burial and cemetery arrangements.

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Types of Funeral Service Providers

September 7th, 2011

Funeral service providers are not all created the same and do not always offer the same services you might be expecting. When planning a funeral, you don’t always have a lot of time to make arrangements – so, learning the ins and outs of funeral planning ahead of time can help for when the time is necessary.

Funeral Home OptionsThere are three categories of funeral providers to choose from.

  • Full Service Providers
  • Specialized Service Providers
  • Limited Service Providers

Full-Service Funeral Providers

Full service providers offer the most options and services when it comes to funeral planning. They can fulfill any service request at any time. The services available are:

  1. Facilities for people to gather in for visitations and ceremonies.
  2. Vehicles such as a hearse and limousines for funeral processions.
  3. A large range of caskets, urns and other funeral service merchandise.

Keep in mind – that when using Full Service funeral home they often don’t offer simplified services with the same attention to detail as they would for a more elaborate full service ceremony.

 Specialized Service Providers

Specialized service providers offer similar service options as the full service funeral homes do but on a more limited basis. The services are:

  1. Facilities for people to gather in for visitations. Typically they are smaller than the full-service providers buildings – and only have one or two rooms for services and ceremonies.
  2. Vehicles may or may not be provided, and hours of operation may be shorter.
  3. Small range of funeral merchandise, including caskets and urns. They are typically in a building similar to doctors office in appearance.

Limited Service Providers

Limited service providers usually arrange direct cremation and burials without ceremonies.

  1. The services they offer are usually limited when it comes to completion of documentation and transferring the deceased to the crematory or cemetery.
  2. Merchandise choice is very limited.

Make sure that the services and merchandise they offer are adequate for your situation. They are often very limited and precise when it comes to providing funeral services, however they are often the least expensive option.

Keep in mind…

  • When ‘shopping’ for a funeral home provider, take care to go over all the details before signing any contracts. You can use the Funeral Home Comparison Checklist to help you when planning a funeral, by comparing prices and services offered at the funeral homes in your area.

Once you have chosen the funeral home to coordinate and provide your services, you will sit down with a funeral director to start planning and arranging the funeral. The whole situation is a bit intimidating if you are not sure of what to expect and how to express your concerns. By educating yourself about funeral and cemetery terminology as well as the means needed for pre-planning a funeral ahead of time, you will feel more comfortable when making the arrangements.

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Funeral Home Comparison Checklist

August 31st, 2011

Today, many families are not aware of their role in the funeral planning process. Once you have an idea of what you would like to take place at the service you are planning, you should sit down with a funeral director to go over the logistics.

Something you should know:

You are the one who determines the cost of the funeral services that will be held for you or your family members. The details of the services are guided and determined by your needs, and budget. But, not all funeral homes are created equal, they come in different sizes, styles and have different specialties. It is a wise idea to ‘shop’ around before deciding which funeral home to work with. Below is a checklist that will aid you in covering all the cost aspects associated with planning a funeral.

Funeral Home Comparison Checklist

Make copies of this checklist to compare the prices of services offered at funeral homes in your area.

Name of Funeral Home____________________________________________

Name of Crematory_______________________________________________

Name of Cemetery________________________________________________

Notes on Business Reputation_____________________________________

________________________________________________________________

Immediate burial:                                 $_________

Immediate cremation:                          $_________

Donation of body to a medical
school or hospital:                                $_________

Full Service Burial/Cremation

Basic fees for funeral director/
staff:                                                           $_________

Pick up of body:                                         $_________

Embalming:                                               $_________

Extra fees for body
preparation:                                               $_________

Caskets

Most Expensive Options

Highest priced wood casket:           $_________
Make and Model #___________________________________________

Highest priced metal casket:           $_________
Make and Model #___________________________________________

Highest priced fiberglass casket:   $_________
Make and Model #___________________________________________

Least Expensive Options

Lowest priced wood casket:           $_________
Make and Model #___________________________________________

Lowest priced metal casket:          $_________
Make and Model # ___________________________________________

Lowest priced fiberglass casket:   $_________
Make and Model #___________________________________________

Rental Casket Options

Highest priced rental casket:        $_________

Lowest priced rental casket:         $_________

Cremation Containers

Highest priced container:             $_________

Lowest priced container:              $_________

Notes: ___________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Vaults and Grave Liners

Vault price:                                        $_________
Description and model #______________________________________

Grave Liner price:                             $_________
Description and model #______________________________________

Transportation

Hearse Options:                               $_________ – $__________

Limousine Options:                          $_________ – $__________

Notes: ____________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

Services and Fees

Visitation staff and facilities:   $__________

Funeral & Memorial services: $__________

Graveside service – All fees
included:                                $__________

Other Services:

Forwarding body to another
funeral home:                                $__________

Receiving body from another
funeral home:                                $__________

Total based on the highest priced services and equipment: $_______________

Total based on the lowest priced services and equipment:   $_______________

Cemetery/Mausoleum

Lot or Crypt:                               $___________

Opening and closing the
grave or crypt:                            $___________

Marker/ Monument:                    $___________

Ongoing Care of lot/crypt:          $___________

Over all total: $_________________

Notes:__________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Questions to ask:

    • How long has the funeral home been in business?
    • What is the funeral home’s reputation in town?
    • Do they offer you a contract with details of the goods and services they offer you?
    • Does the funeral home have accommodations for your spiritual and religious views and traditions?
    • If the funeral home in a convenient location?
    • Is the staff helpful and caring?
    • Do you feel comfortable with the funeral director?

 Additional Notes:__________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

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Military Funeral Honors and Customs

August 18th, 2011

United States Veterans are given honorable, military funerals to commemorate the time they spent while serving our country. Family and friends are comforted in the traditions and respectful services created in honor of their loved one. Serving our country in the military is incredibly honorable. So, with respect to the fallen soldiers who have made this sacrifice, we salute them with tradition, respect and honor in the way of Military Honors.

Military funerals can take place at private cemeteries and national cemeteries dedicated to fallen soldiers across the country. There are 128 national cemeteries and 33 soldier’s lots through out our nation alone. Religious traditions are often tied into the service to honor both the deceased’s religion and military duty.

Draping the Casket with the National Flag

The tradition of draping the American Flag over the casket of a fallen soldier began during the Napoleonic War between 1796 and 1815. The deceased were carried off the battlefield covered in flags to honor their sacrifice. This practice continues to this day, but instead of several small flags, a large American Flag is draped over the top of the casket.

A United States flag is provided, at no cost, to drape the casket or accompany the urn of a deceased Veteran who served honorably in the U. S. Armed Forces.

  • The flag is not placed in the grave and is not allowed to touch the ground.
  • The flag is folded and given to the next of kin.
  • The flag is carefully folded 13 times, each fold holding its own meaning.

What each fold represents

As the honor guard makes the folds (traditionally representing the 13 original colonies) and recites the meaning behind each fold.

  1. The first fold is to symbolize life.
  2. The second fold is a symbol of eternal life.
  3. The third fold is to honor and remember the Veteran and the portion of their life that was given in the defense of our country to attain peace in the world.
  4. The fourth fold symbolizes our weaker nature compared to God, symbolizing our trust in Him for peace and divine guidance in times of war.
  5. The fifth fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur: “Our country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it still be our country right or wrong”.
  6. The sixth fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that we pledge of allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
  7. The seventh fold is a tribute to our armed forces, for it is through the armed forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic.
  8. The eighth fold is in honor to those who entered into the Valley of the Shadow of Death, that we might see the light of day.
  9. The ninth fold is a tribute to womanhood. For it has been through their faith, love, loyalty and devotion, the character of the men and women who have made this country great molded. The flag also honors the mother, for whom it flies on Mother’s Day.
  10. The tenth fold is tribute to our father. He too has given his sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first-born.
  11. The eleventh fold in the eyes of a Hebrew citizen, represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
  12. The twelve fold in the eyes of a Christian citizen, represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies the Holy Trinity.
  13. The thirteenth fold, when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding is of our national motto “In God We Trust”.

Firing three rifle volleys

The practice originated during the Colonial period on the battle field when the fighting would halt and the dead would be removed from the battle field. Once the field was clear, each army would fire three volleys to ensure that the dead had been cared for and they were ready to continue the fight.

  • Every honorably discharged veteran is entitled to a traditional three volley salute.
  • A firing party of seven will fire three rifle volleys simultaneously over the grave.

The playing of Taps

The music for Taps was adapted by Union General Daniel Butterfield in 1862. In 1874 Taps was officially adopted by the US Army. It is customary at a Military Funeral to have a bugler or electronic playing of Taps in honor of the departed soldier.

Benefits offered to the deceased and family

The Department of Veterans Affairs supplies a headstone for both the deceased and their spouse at no charge. Families of the deceased also receive a certificate from the President of the United States, known as the Presidential Memorial Certificate.

Special thank you to MudFlapDC for the picture of Military awards via Flickr.

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Hispanic Funeral Traditions

July 20th, 2011

The funeral traditions of the Spanish-speaking cultures are similar, but have many differences and variations from each other. For the purpose of this article, we are generalizing the similarities of customs rooted in Hispanic cultures to give you a brief description of what to expect at a Hispanic Funeral.

Hispanic Funeral Traditions Are Primarily Catholic

Because of the how deeply-rooted Catholicism is in Hispanic heritages, even non-Catholics include Catholic traditions in their funerals.

The Hispanic culture accepts death as part of life. It is the end of the life in the flesh, and a beginning of the life in spirit. Catholic Hispanics celebrate one’s death, because the soul is going “home” once the body has died. The funeral process doesn’t begin after death, but before one passes.

  • Whenever the situation allows, the funeral process begins on the death-bed. A priest will give the dying person their Last Rites, which consist of confession (if possible), communion and pastoral blessing.
  • A family member will stay with the body of the deceased until the preparations begin for the funeral services.
  • A traditional Hispanic Funeral will consist of 3-4 days of services and vigils to honor and pray for the departed soul.
  • A Catholic Priest will lead the services for the funeral. Starting with the wake.

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Traditional Asian Funeral Etiquette

July 16th, 2011

Asian Funeral with AlterIf you are attending an Asian Funeral, there are a few rules of etiquette that are very important to follow. The burial process of someone who has passed is taken very seriously in Chinese society. Asian culture teaches that someone who is buried without the proper funeral customs will bring bad luck and disaster to the family. Cremation among traditional Asians is very rare.

Asian culture uses beauty and respect throughout their funerals services. Every detail is covered and has special meaning behind it. The traditions they use have been passed from generation to generation to make the end-of-life transition more beautiful.

What To Expect When Attending An Asian Funeral

The funeral process and rites are based on how traditional the family is, as well as age, social status, and marital status.

Tradition teaches that an elder is not to show respect to someone who is younger. So, if the funeral is for a younger person, their body cannot be brought home (as is custom for an older person). This also goes for an infant or child. The services will be held at the funeral parlor, in a way similar to western funerals.  Since no respect can be shown, there are no vigils, prayers or offerings made, the service and burial will be made in silence.

Wake or Viewing at An Asian Funeral

Traditional Asian funerals will be held at the home of the deceased. If the death occurred inside the home, the casket and service will be held inside. If the death occurred outside of the home, the casket and service will be in a courtyard near the home. Wreaths, flowers and a picture of the deceased will sit on top of the coffin.

Traditional funerals last for 49 days, with the first 7 being the most important. However, if the family doesn’t have the financial means, the funeral will last 3-5 days with the first day being the most significant.
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What To Expect At A Funeral

July 10th, 2011

Funerals are always a difficult and emotional occasion. Many people get nervous or anxious when attending a funeral. There are some basic principles when it comes to one’s behavior and etiquette throughout the funeral process.

Condolence Visits

If you are a close friend or family member of the deceased, it is proper to pay a visit to the home of the family members before the funeral, to offer your help and share fond memories.

Before a Wake

A wake is a time when family and close friends come together before a funeral to spend time in remembrance of the deceased. Many people will offer to bring food, watch children, clean house or help with any of the planning.

Expressing Your Sympathy

Sending flowers to the church, funeral home or the family’s home is a well-known way of expressing your sympathy. When words can’t say it, flowers will show it.

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How to Create a Meaningful Eulogy

June 22nd, 2011

What is a Eulogy?

A eulogy is a heartfelt, good-bye tribute to honor and celebrate the life of the deceased. This tribute addresses not only to the person who has died, but to the friends and family that have gathered at the service.

Man Giving A Eulogy At A Military FuneralA Eulogy Includes:

  • An introduction the person’s life
  • Details, such as family, friends, interests, passions, likes and dislikes
  • Significant memories and achievements of the deceased
  • Scriptures, poetry and favorite stories written or enjoyed by the deceased are commonly read

It does not have to be perfect, the most touching and meaningful eulogies come from the heart. Eulogies are not a biography, rather a loving and heartfelt speech that expresses the feelings and experiences shared between the person giving it and the deceased. Remember, whatever you write and deliver in the eulogy will be appreciated by the people in attendance.

How To Write A Eulogy

1.) Recall memories: Think about the relationship you shared, where you met, what you did together, humorous or touching memories and what you will miss the most.

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Legacy Funeral and Cremation Care

June 7th, 2011

A Helping Hand When Planning A Funeral

Legacy Funeral & Cremation - San Diego CALooking for some insight on what drives the largest funeral home in San Diego CA to provide a very personalized service for its customers?

After years of building a reputation as exceptional and extremely customer-centric, Legacy Funeral and Creation Care is committed to highly personalized memorials. Whether you use Legacy or another funeral home, their approach to funeral planning and services is beneficial for every family planning a funeral.

The funeral directors at Legacy were kind enough to discuss their philosophy with FSN Funeral Homes.

What is Legacy’s  approach when dealing with families during a time of loss?

Providing as much help as possible is our main concern. Families are dealing with many stressful and emotional situations during this time. If we can help eliminate some of these stresses, families can concentrate on healing. One of the most important qualities a funeral home should have is helpfulness.

How does Legacy help families who are planning a funeral?
Assisting families through every aspect of the funeral planning process is a major part of what we do for our clients. We help them to navigate the many funeral planning steps from paper work and filing government forms, to helping create a memorial service as unique as their loved one.

Every client works with a funeral arranger who guides them through the personal decisions needed to arrange the funeral service and burial. During the funeral arrangement conference, we will help families handle essential paperwork, such as the death certificate, obituary, and insurance matters; decide what personal funeral service and burial options are needed; and what specific personalized elements should be included in the memorial service. From start to finish, every family will receive personalized care from our experienced staff. During a time of loss, families need guidance more than anything.

How does Legacy guide families in creating a unique memorial service?
Every family is different, with their own traditions, religious views and distinctive traits that make them unique. During a funeral, family members come together in their own way to celebrate with joyous memories, tears and even a few laughs. We encourages families to create a memorial service just as individual and special as their loved one.

Organizing those personal elements is what makes a truly unique and memorable funeral service. Gathering and assembling items can be comforting, yet difficult for families. Guiding families through the process of creating a memory board, encouraging stories and memories during the service and displaying items that reflect the life of their loved-one is our way of helping them during this trying time. Inviting families to share their stories and memories as a way to facilitate healing and closure should be a part of every funeral service.

How does Legacy help comfort families and facilitate closure?
Legacy Funeral & Cremation - San Diego CACreating a relaxed environment that encourages personal reflection time helps promote the healing process. With our private sitting room, intimate chapel and viewing area, families are surrounded with a comforting atmosphere. These amenities, along with a large kitchen, give families the ability to create a soothing home-away-from-home experience. Allowing them to prepare or serve food for immediate family and close friends, or relax in a serene space is our way of helping them through a difficult time.

Every family planning a funeral should receive the same care, consideration and help clients of Legacy Funeral and Creation Care receive.

If you’re not in the San Diego area, try these tips for finding a funeral home to meet your needs:

  • Well-known In The Community
  • Have A Good Reputation
  • Good Location
  • Reasonable Pricing
  • Honest and Compassionate Staff
  • Peaceful Environment
  • Services Available To Your Religious or Cultural Preferences

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