A good friend of mine has lost a loved one, should I call or visit right away?
- Yes. Calling to ask what help is needed is a great way to show sympathy to your friend. Necessary help isn’t always available when it is needed. Visits to the home are usually welcomed if you are close to the bereaved. Call first to inform them of your visit.
Is there anything I can say to ‘Make it better’?
- Grief is a very painful and emotionally draining experience. Words cannot make it better. It is best to help the grieving with support, love and sympathy.
I wasn’t able to go to the funeral or respond right away, is it too late to offer my condolences?
- It is never too late to share your sympathy. Often, the time after the funeral service is filled with family and friends offering sympathy and love, but as time goes on, the help dwindles. It is never to late to show that you care.
When will my friend get over the grief and go back to her old self?
- Grief doesn’t have a time line. It is a process that can last years, with ups and downs. It is normal for the grieved to go through stages of fear, shock, pain, anger, guilt, denial, loneliness acceptance and finally recovery. But it takes time and patience. As a friend, the most important thing you can do is be there for them, through their ups and downs.
I feel uncomfortable around my grieving friend. I am trying not to avoid her, but sometimes I feel it’s best. What should I do?
- Avoiding your friend only adds to their pain. And, can make them feel even worse. Don’t pity your friend, treat them like you normally do. If you can’t find the right words, be open about it and tell them honestly. Sharing a coffee break or a lunch will be a good way to sit and talk about everything. Once everything is out in the open, your feelings will be easier to express.